the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
