And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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