operation harelip BJ is a go
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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