awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
