Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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