oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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