i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize