there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize