Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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