dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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