So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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