Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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