Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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