I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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