And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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