i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
