he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You've changed since you got that strap on
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
