Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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