Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
