I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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