college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
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I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
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Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize