Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I forget how to act sober
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