my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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