her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
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