Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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