I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
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You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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