She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
