You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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