beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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