And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
