ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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