Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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