she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
