I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
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I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
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Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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