she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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