I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
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A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
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Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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