I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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