Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
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I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
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you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!