can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up