The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?