Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?