she was so not down for the gang bang
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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