The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
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Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
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She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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