i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You took a bar mat shot.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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