well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize