Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
