I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
