The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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