I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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