is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
