I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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