It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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