You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize